Ive came to the conclusion that The big things that should make me upset dont and i cling to the small things that dont matter and let them bring me down. Its such a backwards way of thinking.... Ive lost so many friends and delt with some real problems in my life so strongly, yet i let some stupid bullshit ruin my day. its like why the fuck do i even let it matter? I have so much other shit to worry about other than some drama or sex.
I wish i wasnt so gullible for what people say to me, hanging on their last word, when any other day its my way or the highway... im normally in control of the situation but i cant control my emotions sometimes and its getting old...
One of my close friends lost their mother this past week and i cant begin to imagine how she must feel. My mom is like my best friend just like they were and i dont know what i would do without her in my life. It wasnt long ago that i went to visit her and her mom, they were so happy for me... Im really glad i took the time to visit when i could. Her family is in my prayers for sure. It blows my mind how many of my friends from my senior class have lost parents... it is really a terrible thing. This is my second friend that has lost their mom within the last couple years and its like a part of them is missing...
i never want that day to come....
I never want to get a call like that.....
My art show is on friday, my mom is coming to see my work and see me get recognized for making the deans list. Im excited, hopefully some of my friends from home will come check it out too. Apparently im getting some sort of prize too, i hope its something good! haha.
Today i have 3d class and im kinda falling behind, i really need to get my shit together today and figure out what the fuck im doing with myself lol
ive been doing yoga with the girls, shit is HARDDD! hhaha, were gunna start doing cardio and yoga every other day, gotta get that beach bod for cali this summer, dont wanna be out there with katis cute ass lookin all fat lol, hopefully ill get to where i want to be, just takes determination, something i neeed!!!
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