Dream from 7/14

Today my dream was very scattered and only random parts were clear in my mind so Im going to do my best to describe and note what they were.


-  trains moving down each street in the city at the same time, blocking random people together into inner sections/ very normal.
jessicas sister was riding on the train... the cars were like a roller coaster seats.

-  ringo being a cutie and super playful.

There was a huge flower trying to eat me - large and purple in  the trash can area of old house, flowers everywhere even hanging from above. It was like someone had gardened rare spieces of flowers all in that coved area where the trash usually was. The large flower was just holding its self up with a large stem, higher than where the roof began. I started to see it move and realized it was eating bugs in the air

dad

people headed to my house and i was in fear about the situation. consulted dad weather i should lock them out. as they arrived they looked pretty bad ass, and so did I. all black and grungy, wearing a bandana around my neck. The only person I recognized was Franz who looked normal but when I laughed and spoke to him I got the impression he didnt remember me.
we were forming a group of some sort


stopped a car outside of a teen party trying to sketch them out and we were just going to walk in but were not dressed for the occasion

were in a very large house staying with friends

big storm heading our way

sleeping in an RV vs a hotel


picking up dog shit? a girl had almost sat in it. Very gross I can remember the texture and smell. I was  very embarrassed. Used a pair of gloves that I had wanted to buy for gardening in real life

there was a boat and beach

Dream Diary

Im thinking I may start recording the memories I have of my dreams via the internet. I think It will be easier for me to get it out faster and more efficiently.

I guess I will start with what I recall from last night's dreams, which at this point is probably not much but bits and pieces since its been about 5 hours since I awoke.

I know that the majority of my dream I was being chased or was hiding from a group of people trying to kill me. I was running all over a crowded suburban neighborhood desperately trying to find someone to help me. Running between houses, jumping faces, ducking behind boats on trailers and then eventually I seen a couple latino women on a porch. I was begging them to hide me and to call 911. When they got on the line the dispatcher was the people who were looking for me and they started describing where I was as if they were watching us. I started to fear that I was going to put their lives at risk so I started running again.....

Thats when my memory skips to me being hiding with some people that I care for in a house. The people had found me so I was holding a door shut behind me with all of my might while someone pushed and attempted to break the door down. I had a guy with me helping me hold the door when someone on the other side started stabbing through the door so we had to let go and they busted in. Thats when I got a small revolver pistol from a girl in the room with me. One of the men tried to grab a child in the room and hold them threateningly. I put a bullet into his head but it was so small that it didn't do him much harm. The man was obviously not right but he still posed as a threat. After demanding for the kids to look away I put two more into his head before he finally fell to the floor and started to bleed out.

The next part of my dream that I recall I was stress free and ordering take out from The Greene Turtle bar, where my friend Taylor from high school took my order of shrimp and imitation crab meat with drawn butter TO GO.


Although, this is all I remember the dream seemed to have lasted all night and it was very vivid. The most memorable is how the gun felt in my hand and how the tension build and pinched my skin when pulled back to put the bullet in the chamber. It felt so foreign to me because I've never really shot a gun before.

I wish I remembered why I was being chased... I guess I will never know! ;)

oh yes Skrillex

I guess its time to accept my life

yeah i know that sounds crazy but ive came to terms with the fact that there will always be disapointments and always will be someone trying to bring me down. Im kinda upset with myself for not sticking to my work out plan but i have been super tired lately and dont wanna do anything.

I was wondering why i was so bored the other day, then i realized that im letting myself be bored. Stupid huh? lol

I finally did mariahs tattoo of a peacock feather, took me a minute but it came out pretty sweet. I love to draw but it takes so much time and concentration that its draining and its kinda a lonely task.

I work today over at the kitty hopefully ill make some money bc i didnt get to work all weekend bc the AC broke in the restaurant and they couldnt get it fixed. BIG BUMMER

me and my dad have such a fucked up relationship and im realizing it truly has effected who i am as a person. He ruined my patience. Its so hard for me to not let him make me mad bc i know he is just in a mode when he starts going off but after all the years he has told me he will change ive seriously lost all hope. Its terrible the things he made me feel and think about, but then things just go back to normal... wait... all of this is NORMAL.... i call this a PROBLEM


im excited for the school year to start i cant wait to learn photoshop and CS5. Im excited what opportunities i will have and i cant wait to apply for all the other schools. this time next year hopefully ill be preparing to go to RISD and planning out my drive up there. YES MY DRIVE. ill have my licence and hopefully some money in the bank and an internship with a company or returning from a summer abroad. Its almost time to get serious.

i cant wait to be in total control of my life and what i do with it.
Hopefully our government dont take a shit and leave us all fucked.
What can we do tho?

I want to write to the politicians in my area, i doubt it will matter but i need to get my voice out there.

Epicness

Over the last week i have seen farther into myself and a completely new appreciation for nature. With some help of some of natures goodness. My pyramid right by my side. Alyssa and Mariah are my ride or die bitches and im going to be so sad to leave them when i go back to school. Alyssa is moving to Hawaii and Mariah is considering going too but secretly i dont want her to go, but i do because i know it would be a great experience. I totally larped in a bamboo forest. Beat that!

Today was Ginas birthday. I seen a lot of old friends and met a lot of ginas other friends i hadnt met before and they were all pretty cool. I got her some roses and made her a happy birthday board. It wasnt much but i know she appreciated it.

Im not real sure what im doing tonight but id be fine with staying here at home. Maybe ill do some yoga or something! Get my muscles some stretching. I may even catch a quick bike ride!

Hopefully ill make bank this weekend at work! It should be a good one and i plan on saving every last dime! i really need to stop spending!

Lesson learned

Next time i have a weird feeling about something. Its prolly for the right reasons. Never again will i trust someone i havent seen in a while with my well being. fuck that.

hopefully things will work out.

im pretty stoked that something returned into my life, this is going to be a good summer.

deturmination blinded by stressful situations

Life is not easy. No one said it would be. I need to stay focused on long term happiness not short term. I shouldnt take the easy path.

I wish I could get everthing i want. But I guess things wouldnt be so nice when i got them.

He was the first guy ive really WANTED in a long time. Not just because im bored or like the attention. I legit wanted him. But i was too late. And i need to focus on me. Not on someone else and i dont need to create more problems for myself.

a few of my friends have gone A-wall. Krystal just left for the Air force and christine moved out and got another job. Gina is off in school work family and boyfriend land. Mandie and Mariah are on their work game but i see them most of all. Im happy for the girls i got though, were all just growing up and have more responsibility. im just glad we all had a blast while we could!